apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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