im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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