Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
two words...techno handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize