So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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