shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
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Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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