So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize