winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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