Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize