I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize