4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i just sent this text using only my big toe
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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