If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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