Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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