i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Ladies don't puke and tell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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