I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize