She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
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Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
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When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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