the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize