i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
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We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
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My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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