make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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