I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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