I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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