I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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