i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize