We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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