His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
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If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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