I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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