Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
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Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
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Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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