Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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