i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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