the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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