Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
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If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We left an ass print on the piano.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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