i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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