Heybabeimwearingurpanties
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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