Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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