So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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