The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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