escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
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Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
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Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I think my moral compass just broke
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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