it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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