i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
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I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
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my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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