how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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