I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
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Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
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I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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