If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize