I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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