If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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