Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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