HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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