Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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