wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize