He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize