She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
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If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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