I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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